Hiya!! It's been a long time Blogger... how ya been?
Me? Well, I have been ok... thanks for askin.
I am back at the gym, full time.. whew. And I just signed up with my trainer for a 6 month fast track assessment/program change.
Yea, I know... pretty cool eh?
I'm getting back into shape.. finally. We have made a decision not to go back to the Clinic until the fall. Or, moreover... I have decided this. I am tired of my body being so out of shape with all these drugs and hormones. Ugh.
I have decided that I will kick it in high gear until fall and get my bod back.YEAH!
Hey, guess what... I can run 1.5 miles in 15:58 minutes. Yup, it's true.
I think that is pretty awesome!
Anywhoo... I just called the Clinic this morning to book my sonohystogram. I had to wait for my period to come back to book it. The period took 5.5 weeks. Bugger. Anyway, I am in for that on Friday. He just wants to look and see if all is well with my uterus. I am sure all is well in there, but never hurts to go look I guess.
Well, that is all for now. Sorry about being MIA for a while.. I just have nothing much to say... xox
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
A little R&R is good
Well, it has been a while since I have been here, and Debbie reminded me of that. Thanks Deb! :)
This past week has been a good one. I am back at the gym in top form, stopped bleeding (finally) and am back to my old self... I think.
I am on the quest to get this weight off, getting back to eating more healthy... I am kind of struggling with this one at times, and generally feeling better. I think a lot of this has to do with the time of year, also. Winter gets me down. I do no sports in the winter time, and that sucks. I go to the gym, and that is about it. While I was pregnant, or pyseudo preggo, I was just walking.. so what does that actually do? Nothing much, in my opinion.
I am going at it with a purpose now. I have a couple of things coming up in the near future (about 6 weeks) that I would really like to shave off 20 pounds. Is that unrealistic? Perhaps. That is my goal, however.
Other than that.. life is good. I am busy with my business ventures, and that is good. I let them slide as well, when I was going thru my thing. I am back on the saddle with those. Can't pay the bills if there is no $$ coming in!
This past week has been a good one. I am back at the gym in top form, stopped bleeding (finally) and am back to my old self... I think.
I am on the quest to get this weight off, getting back to eating more healthy... I am kind of struggling with this one at times, and generally feeling better. I think a lot of this has to do with the time of year, also. Winter gets me down. I do no sports in the winter time, and that sucks. I go to the gym, and that is about it. While I was pregnant, or pyseudo preggo, I was just walking.. so what does that actually do? Nothing much, in my opinion.
I am going at it with a purpose now. I have a couple of things coming up in the near future (about 6 weeks) that I would really like to shave off 20 pounds. Is that unrealistic? Perhaps. That is my goal, however.
Other than that.. life is good. I am busy with my business ventures, and that is good. I let them slide as well, when I was going thru my thing. I am back on the saddle with those. Can't pay the bills if there is no $$ coming in!
Monday, March 17, 2008
What a grrrrreat day... happy Monday! :)
Well, finally.... here we are! I am FINALLY feeling like my old self again. Finally. I went back to the gym today, finally. I am taking baby steps, starting at the beginning. I know I am wonder woman, but I still have to take it easy at times... lol.
I had total anxiety last night, which I didn't realize until I tried to sleep. Yea, good luck with that. I was off and on all night. More off than on. Ugh! I had to get up early for the gym, didn't my body know that? Hmm... I think it did, but my mind had other thoughts. Oh well.
I got up, went in to the gym, talked to my trainer, went back to everything really easy and I feel GREAT! Yeah.. this is the feeling I have been missing.
I feel alive, ready for anything, active, renewed, lighter, just better. Finally. I called my colonics chica and found out she is away until the 24th. Okay... no biggie. I have went back towards eating more raw again, juicing all the good things. I think this has a LOT to do with my feeling too. Oh, and spring is coming... that ALWAYS makes me feel better. The sun is shining, although it is FREEZING outside... it is all good.
Have a sunny lovely day... xoxo
I had total anxiety last night, which I didn't realize until I tried to sleep. Yea, good luck with that. I was off and on all night. More off than on. Ugh! I had to get up early for the gym, didn't my body know that? Hmm... I think it did, but my mind had other thoughts. Oh well.
I got up, went in to the gym, talked to my trainer, went back to everything really easy and I feel GREAT! Yeah.. this is the feeling I have been missing.
I feel alive, ready for anything, active, renewed, lighter, just better. Finally. I called my colonics chica and found out she is away until the 24th. Okay... no biggie. I have went back towards eating more raw again, juicing all the good things. I think this has a LOT to do with my feeling too. Oh, and spring is coming... that ALWAYS makes me feel better. The sun is shining, although it is FREEZING outside... it is all good.
Have a sunny lovely day... xoxo
Saturday, March 15, 2008
keeps going.. and going.. and going
WOW. It is still flowing... I can't believe it. I thought we were done Thursday, which would have been fine with me. But, yesterday it was back... with a vengence. Hmm.. I guess I can understand it.
I am still tired, still fat, and still sore. I am not sure if it is the results of the pregnancy and the loss, or a mild bout of depression. I suspect a little bit of both. I am quite content to be in my house, doing whatever it is that I choose to do. Luckily, Marc is working this whole weekend, so I can do just that and not feel guilty. Not that he would care, cause he wouldn't, at all.
I can tell that this has taken a toll on him as well. He just doesn't know what to do, but I don't either. There is nothing really to do, we can just be. We can just heal from this and move on. That is what I am planning to do.
I am going back to the gym Monday morning. I have asked my trainer to meet me there. I want to talk with her about fast tracking a program for me to get back into shape. I have started eating more raw again. I picked up The Raw Detox Diet again and have started looking at some recipies. I find that is the hardest thing... what to eat. Ugh. And, with coming off these drugs, I love to eat now...
Anyway, that is where we are right now. Just trying to get back to life.
xo
I am still tired, still fat, and still sore. I am not sure if it is the results of the pregnancy and the loss, or a mild bout of depression. I suspect a little bit of both. I am quite content to be in my house, doing whatever it is that I choose to do. Luckily, Marc is working this whole weekend, so I can do just that and not feel guilty. Not that he would care, cause he wouldn't, at all.
I can tell that this has taken a toll on him as well. He just doesn't know what to do, but I don't either. There is nothing really to do, we can just be. We can just heal from this and move on. That is what I am planning to do.
I am going back to the gym Monday morning. I have asked my trainer to meet me there. I want to talk with her about fast tracking a program for me to get back into shape. I have started eating more raw again. I picked up The Raw Detox Diet again and have started looking at some recipies. I find that is the hardest thing... what to eat. Ugh. And, with coming off these drugs, I love to eat now...
Anyway, that is where we are right now. Just trying to get back to life.
xo
Sunday, March 9, 2008
I think it is complete...
It is all done, thankfully.
Saturday night I thought I was hemmoraging. Yikes. It was awful. Snow storm, Marc was working midnights and I was bleeding to death.
Called my Doc at 11:30 and he calmed me down... said all was well and not to worry.
Had my appointment this afternoon. Ultrasound and chit chat. U/s showed that I did miscarry on the weekend, and that my uterus looks clear. Thank goodness. I so didn't want to take the medication or have another D&C.
Talking with the Doc, we are going to come back for a sonohistogram at the beginning of my next period and at that time we will do some immune testing as well. He thinks that I am pretty much just an explained case.
In any event, I have to run... taxes are due and I have an appointment with my accountant tomorrow... good times!
I will chat more later...xo
Saturday night I thought I was hemmoraging. Yikes. It was awful. Snow storm, Marc was working midnights and I was bleeding to death.
Called my Doc at 11:30 and he calmed me down... said all was well and not to worry.
Had my appointment this afternoon. Ultrasound and chit chat. U/s showed that I did miscarry on the weekend, and that my uterus looks clear. Thank goodness. I so didn't want to take the medication or have another D&C.
Talking with the Doc, we are going to come back for a sonohistogram at the beginning of my next period and at that time we will do some immune testing as well. He thinks that I am pretty much just an explained case.
In any event, I have to run... taxes are due and I have an appointment with my accountant tomorrow... good times!
I will chat more later...xo
Monday, March 3, 2008
Today was ass kicking Monday, I think...
Back to the gym I went today. Not that I stopped going while I was cycling, but I was only walking. I don't even consider that anything. Ugh, I am glad that is over. 3 miles a day at a speed of 2.7... blah.
Today I was back to the weights. Back to resistance training. I have 3 months to get this bod back into shape, or somewhat shape. Progesterone and estrogen were not my friend I tell ya. Carb queen I was... so unlike me. But.. hey, I was pregnant. I allowed the carbs in... all for the good of the quest.
Uh huh, so I am back to the gym, Miss Carb Queen. I tell ya, you cannot go back to where you were 6 weeks ago. You cannot just jump back there, oh no. I got about 3/4 done, and I had to quit. It was just too much. I tried running on the treadmill, yea, right. 5 minutes of that shit and I was all done with that. I guess I now have some issue going on with my knee. Did the carbs settle in my knee?? YIKES!
Baby steps, and I know this. But, I think I am a little angry with my body and how it keeps failing me. I do everything I am supposed to do. I eat right, I exercise, I went organic, I don't eat red meat, I am careful about everything! I took my meds, I did all the prep work, all my body had to do was accept the embryo, grow it good and we were all set.
So, here I sit.. waiting for the miscarriage. The clinic called today and I am scheduled for the next ultrasound on Monday. This ultrasound will tell us if my body is miscarrying naturally or if I will need the medication to help it along. I just had a realization last night. I bet you that I won't miscarry on my own. As with my previous blighted ovum, my body was keeping that in there come hell or high water. All it wanted was to keep that safe and sound. Ah, but.. body... we need more than the gestational sac for a baby... sheesh! Keep ALL the stuff, if you are gonna keep anything!
Today was also the day of letting the few people that knew I was pregnant or cycling, know that I am no longer. That is always fun. The exact reason that we do not tell too many people. It is just too hard for us, and the poor people, they don't know what to say either. I totally understand.
So, now I will move on to investigating which immune testing I need. There is a section on the bulletin board that I go to that deals with immunities. I will start there. Dr. Beers has a test that you can do online that will give a good indication of what direction to go. I will also do that.
Later taters!! xoxo
Today I was back to the weights. Back to resistance training. I have 3 months to get this bod back into shape, or somewhat shape. Progesterone and estrogen were not my friend I tell ya. Carb queen I was... so unlike me. But.. hey, I was pregnant. I allowed the carbs in... all for the good of the quest.
Uh huh, so I am back to the gym, Miss Carb Queen. I tell ya, you cannot go back to where you were 6 weeks ago. You cannot just jump back there, oh no. I got about 3/4 done, and I had to quit. It was just too much. I tried running on the treadmill, yea, right. 5 minutes of that shit and I was all done with that. I guess I now have some issue going on with my knee. Did the carbs settle in my knee?? YIKES!
Baby steps, and I know this. But, I think I am a little angry with my body and how it keeps failing me. I do everything I am supposed to do. I eat right, I exercise, I went organic, I don't eat red meat, I am careful about everything! I took my meds, I did all the prep work, all my body had to do was accept the embryo, grow it good and we were all set.
So, here I sit.. waiting for the miscarriage. The clinic called today and I am scheduled for the next ultrasound on Monday. This ultrasound will tell us if my body is miscarrying naturally or if I will need the medication to help it along. I just had a realization last night. I bet you that I won't miscarry on my own. As with my previous blighted ovum, my body was keeping that in there come hell or high water. All it wanted was to keep that safe and sound. Ah, but.. body... we need more than the gestational sac for a baby... sheesh! Keep ALL the stuff, if you are gonna keep anything!
Today was also the day of letting the few people that knew I was pregnant or cycling, know that I am no longer. That is always fun. The exact reason that we do not tell too many people. It is just too hard for us, and the poor people, they don't know what to say either. I totally understand.
So, now I will move on to investigating which immune testing I need. There is a section on the bulletin board that I go to that deals with immunities. I will start there. Dr. Beers has a test that you can do online that will give a good indication of what direction to go. I will also do that.
Later taters!! xoxo
Friday, February 29, 2008
Lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did....
So, it was 5:30 pm when I finally got out of bed today. I just had no energy, ambition or will to do it. What did I need to get out of bed for? To go to the gym? No. To look at my computer? No. For no reason, so I didn't.
My husband cooked me breakfast at 11, but he didn't serve me until 2:00 pm, when he knew I was awake. He went to the bank and did my business banking for me, and is now out for dinner with my parents. I just didn't want to go. I just didn't want to do anything today, so I won't.
My Dad brought my flowers this morning. That was so nice of him. He must have picked them up on the way home from the gym. I love him. I didn't even know, until my Hubby brought them up to me at 2.
So, I am usually like this for 1 day following the shitty news from the Clinic. Whether it be a miscarriage, or a negative result, or not good result. I am usually toast the next day. So.. today is my day to wallow around. To cry, to pout, to laze.
I am concerned about this pending miscarriage. I hope that the evacuation will not be toooooo... I don't know.. painful, much, ugh. I am planning to go back to the gym HARD on Monday. Picking up on my routine that I left off on when I began the transfer and all that. Stepping up the pansy ass walking to my running, and going back to the weights and resistance training.
I have gained about 20ish pounds with this cycle and I want to take it off. I hate the meds that I am on, and I am so glad I am off. Progesterone makes you eat like a horse... I don't need that.
Also, with pregmancy, you have to eat. I went back to drinking milk, eating some meat, carbs... just eating. I have to admit, I was loving the carb thing.. which is funny cause I was never a huge carb fan. Pasta... yuck! But while being pregnant, or pyseudo pregnant, I was LOVING pasta. I will be off all that soon.
Lots of work ahead. Baby steps to get back, I realize that. It is only 3 months...
My husband cooked me breakfast at 11, but he didn't serve me until 2:00 pm, when he knew I was awake. He went to the bank and did my business banking for me, and is now out for dinner with my parents. I just didn't want to go. I just didn't want to do anything today, so I won't.
My Dad brought my flowers this morning. That was so nice of him. He must have picked them up on the way home from the gym. I love him. I didn't even know, until my Hubby brought them up to me at 2.
So, I am usually like this for 1 day following the shitty news from the Clinic. Whether it be a miscarriage, or a negative result, or not good result. I am usually toast the next day. So.. today is my day to wallow around. To cry, to pout, to laze.
I am concerned about this pending miscarriage. I hope that the evacuation will not be toooooo... I don't know.. painful, much, ugh. I am planning to go back to the gym HARD on Monday. Picking up on my routine that I left off on when I began the transfer and all that. Stepping up the pansy ass walking to my running, and going back to the weights and resistance training.
I have gained about 20ish pounds with this cycle and I want to take it off. I hate the meds that I am on, and I am so glad I am off. Progesterone makes you eat like a horse... I don't need that.
Also, with pregmancy, you have to eat. I went back to drinking milk, eating some meat, carbs... just eating. I have to admit, I was loving the carb thing.. which is funny cause I was never a huge carb fan. Pasta... yuck! But while being pregnant, or pyseudo pregnant, I was LOVING pasta. I will be off all that soon.
Lots of work ahead. Baby steps to get back, I realize that. It is only 3 months...
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